grey

I can't say enough about how the stress of the storm has effected us. After the storm hit, my fiance' had a friend die, moving 4 times... she developed fibromyalgia from the PTSD. She would sleep but she would toss, turn, talk out loud in her sleep, and wake up exhausted. It became so exscerbated that she was in extreme physical pain that was diagnosed as fibromyalgia. All of this happened over 6 months.

I, on the other hand, was in survival mode for the first 3 months we were in Austin. Between fixing our house in nola, finding renters, continuing grad school, fighting with our insurance company, finding a new place to live, moving furniture, buying furniture, helping my fiance' cope... I was avoiding things.

Things started unravelling for me when my fiance's company got bought by another one and almost laid her off. She was one of their top reps and they were considering laying her off because they didn't consider Austin a prime market. So, we had to move for a 3rd time, to Dallas. When I found out my graduate school would not allow me to complete my remaining class remotely and would only offer me the option of returning for 15 weeks to complete school... I broke down.

For a couple months, I did not leave the house. I could not get dressed. I could not sleep and/or when I did, it was awful. I was only able to sleep after starting to acknowledge the severity of my situation. I realized every night I was reliving the hurricane... the footage... the pain of having the place I called home destroyed... the pain of not being able to do anything about it... the isolation. I developed this pain in my back that initially felt like tighly clenched fists of muscle underneath my shoulder blades. This grew into feeling like large railroad ties or big metal nails hammered into either side of my spine. Daily I would look at the news about my home and was glued to it for a sign of hope from the federal, state, or local governments. As I was looking in the mirror one day, I noticed my hair has quickly sprouted a number of silver hairs... only on one side of my head. I am convinced this is due to stress.

After finding out the news from my grad school, I blanketed other schools to see about transferring. After a month of work, I found two that would allow me to transfer the bulk of my hours. We put our house on the market and for 5 months did not have a single offer. The stress of not knowing what to do... return to New Orleans, sell the house, rent it out, move to Austin, stay in Dallas, insurance, job uncertainty, grad school... so much in the air... it was unbearable.

Things are starting to turn the corner now. Our house has not sold but is under contract. If it does not sell, we will rent it out for a few years. My fiance' and I realized we are miserable in Dallas and being somewhere that we want to be is of the utmost importance, so we are moving to Austin. I got into grad school outside of Austin and my fiance' is quitting her job with her miserable company. We are both looking for jobs in Austin but we have faith that if we are in an inspiring place, good things will happen. We love New Orleans and miss our friends and family there... and all over the country. We realize we still have some hurdles in front of us but we are planning for the worst case scenario. My fiance' is losing her company car and I bought a Vespa scooter and she is going to take my car. We will find a way to make it all work.