the rain continues, but dissipates

i started to blog yesterday on the benefits of being depressed. i was thinking about how you notice the loneliness and all that is intentionally missing in sad music. how it swims through your veins and touches you in a way that only someone who knows your pain can. however, today is a down day for me and i am not so sure of those good things. like every day after the storm, it doesn't just end with the lights turning off. my dreams are filled with anxiety, death, unfamiliar places, longing, places i can barely still fit, and the storm still goes on. as i think about these dreams it makes me sad because i had forgotten them shortly after waking.

research and theory tells me that the dreams i am having are good because they indicate the transition in my life. they show the death of my old life and the birth of my new one. i need to keep work towards making things happen in my new life in texas. i guess i need to figure out a way to step up and take more control of my life.